Gatekeeping is prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community and often leads to people feeling as though they aren’t worthy, that there’s something wrong with them, or that their identity isn’t valid.
Personally, I find it particularly heartbreaking when gatekeeping comes from within the LGBTQ+ community. We experience enough judgement and hatred from the world that we should be sticking together regardless of whether or not we understand someone else’s identity. For many of us, all we have is each other.
What is Gatekeeping?
Gatekeeping is the practice of barring or attempting to bar particular individuals from spaces, communities or resources. Gatekeeping practices can be divided into two main categories.
First, medical gatekeeping is where there are strict formal requirements one must fulfill in order to transition medically or legally. Often, this is the act of cisgender health professionals trying to deny transgender individuals from accessing gender-affirming resources such as hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and gender-affirming surgeries. Often these medical ‘professionals’ give various excuses, such as the person supposedly being too young, mentally ill, not distressed or dysphoric enough, being non-binary, or not spending enough time since having socially transitioned.
Second, is social gatekeeping where some members of a group or community consider some others “invalid” as members of that community, and try to block them from accessing the community and its spaces. Examples include transmisogynists trying to exclude transgender women from women’s spaces, or trans essentialist folks trying to block non-dysphoric, non-binary, and/or gender non-conforming trans people from trans spaces, or LGT people trying to exclude bisexuals, asexuals, etc, from LGBTQ+ spaces and communities.
My Experience with Gatekeeping
I am a transgender man and have experienced gatekeeping throughout my transition which has led to me questioning my own identity, feeling like an imposter, and feeling as though I don’t belong in the trans community.
Know, that gender is not binary and regardless of where you are along the gender spectrum and where you are in your transition, you are valid, you are beautiful, you deserve to be here and you’re not alone.
Medical Transition
Thankfully I have not personally experienced medical gatekeeping. Though there are a few factors that likely led to this experience for me. (1) I didn’t start to transition until I was over twenty-five years old, therefore am considered an adult and better able to make decisions about my body, (2) I have a Bachelor’s Degree and had experience working at a queer organization and had supported a number of individuals through the beginning of their transition and helped them through their struggles; so, I was well informed and knew how to approach the appointment with my doctor (ie. I knew exactly what I say to get what I wanted), (3) I have quite a bit of privilege (I’m white, educated, and financially independent), (4) I was only planning to do hormone replacement therapy (start Testosterone) and don’t plan to have any surgeries.
Social Transition
Medical transition is not the only important part of a transgender persons experience and there is no one way for a person to transition. But because I don’t want to have top surgery I have been told by other transgender men that I am “not really trans” or “not trans enough”.
Those folks have defended their position by saying that in order to be transgender a person must experience significant gender dysphoria.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), gender dysphoria is defined as “a conflict between a person’s physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify. People with gender dysphoria may be very uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned, sometimes described as being uncomfortable with their body (particularly developments during puberty) or being uncomfortable with the expected roles of their assigned gender.”
Although I don’t necessarily think that definitions are helpful in conversations of identity the APA has done a fairly decent job of updating their information on gender and gender dysphoria to be more inclusive.
My Experience with Dysphoria
My personal experience with gender dysphoria is complicated as is my relationship with my body. Though recently I heard someone say, “I love being trans until I have to interact with people” and that resonates with me so much.
I don’t hate my body and I love my feminine side (most of the time). I also value the experience I had growing up as a girl because it has given me a different world view. But I still have to live in a world that often misgenders me because I don’t fit their expectations of a man.
So, rather than focusing on the ways in which I do or not do experience dysphoria, I focus on gender euphoria. Gender euphoria is the experience of feeling comfort or joy associated with one’s gender. For me, starting testosterone made me feel gender euphoria. Rather than taking away negative feelings I simply felt better in my body, I felt stronger, and I love the sound of my voice as it deepened. I also feel gender euphoria when a stranger calls me ‘young man’ or ‘sir’ or my partner refers to me as his boyfriend.
How Gatekeeping has Impacted Me
One place I do expect to be accepted is within LGBTQ+ communities and particularly transgender community and it’s heartbreaking when that isn’t the case.
Early in my transition when I experienced gatekeeping, particularly from other transgender folks, I questioned my own identity, I questioned whether or not I was an imposter and I felt like I didn’t fit in. This was incredibly damaging to my mental health. It took me a long time to come to terms with my own identity and every time I experienced gatekeeping behaviour it felt like a setback. I took their judgements to heart and it made me question whether or not my identity was valid. (Read my other article on being trans and gay to learn about my struggle with my identity).
Now that I am three years into my transition, I feel it’s my responsibility to speak about these issues within our community. Not only is this type of behaviour damaging to our community as a whole but it’s potentially harmful to a number of people. It makes people afraid to explore their identity and afraid to come out and the way it invalidates people is potentially harmful in a number of ways both physically and emotionally.
Final Thoughts
So, regardless of what I choose to do, or not do, with my body, it is not only none of anyone else’s business but has no bearing on my gender identity. I am still a man because I am telling you that I am. The transgender community (and the rest of the LGBTQ+) community doesn’t need gatekeepers. We need love, diversity and inclusion.