Body positivity is a movement that was started by fat black women and femmes who fought back against unrealistic beauty standards. It has grown so much over the years, particularly with social media and has impacted the lives of millions of people. As a thin, white person I never felt connected to the movement because I didn’t feel like it was for me, that I didn’t have any reason to feel dissatisfied with my body. But, as a transgender person that definitely isn’t true – my relationship with my body is a complicated one.
What is transgender? Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe anyone who doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. This includes those who are binary transgender such as mtf and ftm as well as all nonbinary, genderfluid, or gender flexible identities in between.
Read more about body positivity and some history of the movement from VeryWellMind.
Body Positivity and Unrealistic Standards
When I think about body positivity and the people behind the movement, I think about those fierce humans who are fighting against unrealistic beauty standards. Those who began this movement as well as those who continue it.
Acknowledgement: This movement wouldn’t be what it is today if it wasn’t for the fierce fat black women and femmes who fought back against these unrealistic beauty standards (and the same goes for the LGBTQ+ rights movement). We cannot talk about body positivity without them. I want to acknowledge that I am a thin, white, able-bodied boy who does have a lot of privilege, that being said we need to talk about unrealistic standards for men as well as trans people.
I imagine when most of us think about unrealistic beauty standards we think about how this impacts women, but such unrealistic standards surrounding our bodies apply to everyone. For men, the image of beauty is an athletic body with good posture, broad shoulders, narrow hips, and strong muscles.
Transgender people also experience similar unrealistic expectations when it comes to their gender expression and what their bodies look like. It seems impossible not to compare ourselves to our cisgender counterparts and in many cases, those are standards we are never going to meet (for example, I’m shorter than most cis men and I’m never going to have broad shoulders). Even if our goal isn’t to meet those standards, the comparison can still impact how we feel about our bodies.
We know that for women (and men) these unrealistic beauty standards can lead to body dysmorphia and eating disorders, the same is true for trans folks. A recent survey of 1,000 LGBTQ youth from the National Eating Disorders Association found that about 40% of transgender men and gender non-conforming people are diagnosed with eating disorders.
Body positivity and Dysphoria
What is gender dysphoria? Some people who are transgender will experience “gender dysphoria,” which refers to psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity. Though gender dysphoria often begins in childhood, some people may not experience it until after puberty or much later. (American Psychiatric Association)
It can be challenging to engage with body positivity as a transgender person because we often have such complicated relationships with our bodies and our feelings about our bodies are not static. For some, our bodies have experienced a significant amount of trauma and engaging in certain activities or wearing certain clothes can trigger dysphoria.
Some have said the body positive movement is about ‘loving (or accepting) yourself the way you are’. This idea leaves out many transgender people because their transition necessitates change. Loving themselves means hormones, or surgeries, that will significantly alter their bodies. That being said, undergoing these transitions doesn’t necessarily mitigate these issues.
We see lots of body positive campaigns that show confident people of different shapes and sizes posing in bathing suits, for trans folks this can be complicated because it shows off our bodies in ways we may not be comfortable with or shows off scars that single us out as transgender.
We may want to fully embrace our bodies and wear what we want but it can be so much more complicated than that.
My Relationship with My Body
I am a transgender man, I see myself as a feminine queer twink and most of the time I feel pretty confident in that identity. I’ve been on testosterone for more than 3 years and I haven’t had any surgeries and I’m not sure I will ever have top surgery. (If you want to read more about my coming out story and how I came to this identity check out the LGBTQ+ education section on my blog)
Most of the time I am comfortable with my body, I go to the beach and the pools topless but there are still struggles when it comes to interacting with other people and dressing the way I want. Even if I feel comfortable in myself I cannot avoid interacting with other people when I leave my house and it’s almost impossible not to worry about what they think or whether or not I’m going to be misgendered. As a result, I think about what I’m going to wear and how I’m going to be perceived. Sometimes I want to wear short shorts and crop tops, I want to rock a little eyeliner, or even wear a skirt. But I want to do so as a feminine boy and I worry that these things will increase the likelihood of getting misgendered because these traditionally feminine things might make me ‘look like a girl’. Also, because of my chest, I won’t wear clothing that’s too tight so
What I do to be more body positive
I try to remind myself of a few things;
- I don’t necessarily want to pass as a cis man.
- Body standards are unrealistic for everyone so there’s no point in trying to live up to them.
- My body has value even if it isn’t exactly what I want it to be.
- My gender is valid regardless of my medical transition process.
- The opinions of my friends matter more than the opinions of strangers, and I choose to surround myself with people who love and respect me and will validate my gender.
- My relationship and comfort level with my body is allowed to fluctuate.
- Confidence is attractive and my body doesn’t have to be perfect to be confident.
There are also some things I do:
- Find moments where I can love my body; such as taking pictures that make me feel good, dancing around my house naked on a day where I am feeling okay about my body, etc.
- Reach out for support.
What I want to see for the future of body positivity
The body positive movement should not only attempt to break down the unrealistic expectations society has placed on our bodies but also crush the gender binary and expectations related to gender expression. Clothes, activities, makeup, etc. are not and should not be gendered; people should be allowed to exist in their bodies in a way that is comfortable for them and express their gender in any way they like.
Body positivity should not focus on the message that our bodies are perfect or beautiful the way they are, but instead on the idea that all bodies are valid and worthy of love. This allows us to define what love and care for our bodies looks like individually.
When we say that bosy positivity includes all bodies, we should mean that and continue to be critical of ourselves and aim to grow and learn so we can include everyone and move toward a better future for all.
Final Thoughts
This topic is a complicated one and not something I can wrap up in a neat little bow. Our lives and our bodies are complicated and unfortunately, we are always going to have to interact with other humans and not everyone is nice or accepting. For me, the important is to remember that our bodies and valid and have value regardless of what they look like. We can separate ourselves completely from the idea of positivity and beauty and refocus on our inherent value.
I would love to hear what you think, leave me a comment below. Or let me know what follow up questions you may have.