My mental health always seems to shift in September. It’s currently only the first week of Septemeber and even though the weather is still relatively good in Vancouver I have experienced a sudden and somewhat drastic drop in my mood.
The Diagnosis
The challenging thing is that depression does not manifest as sadness for me most of the time. The most prominent symptoms I experience are feeling lethargic, fatigued or just generally slowed down, unmotivated and unable to concentrate, and feelings of being unworthy or worthless (often as a direct result of my productivity). As a result, I don’t initially recognize these symptoms as related to my depression I simply feel negative about myself and my ability to perform at the level I’m used to. I also often feel guilty for what I consider being an extra burden to those around me because I perceive myself as being extra needy (hint: it’s okay to have needs and sometimes need extra support around our mental health).
After I’ve experienced these symptoms for a while and spend more time attending to the feelings I am having it finally seems to click – like ‘oh yeah this is my depression settling back in’.
The fun doesn’t stop there.
When I do finally realize this is related to my depression (and seasonal affective disorder (SAD)), not as a result of my personal failing, I have a hard time giving myself the space I need. What I mean is rather than being gentle with myself I get annoyed that ‘I didn’t see this coming sooner’. Because if I had I could ‘prepare’ (yes this happens every year around this time).
But, that is why I am writing this article. To give myself, and others who may experience similar things, some perspective on the experience.
What would it look like if I did prepare?
Of course, I don’t actually know how preparing for this would be for me because I’ve never attempted to do it. It does always somehow catch me by surprise. But I imagine if I did attempt to prepare it would impact my summer negatively. I would be dreading the coming of September more and worry about the incoming feelings (yes I also have anxiety).
I’d be curious to know what you think. Do you think preparing for the feelings that September and Fall bring would be help? If you think it would, how would you prepare? (Let me know in the comments).
Why September?
This year I was thinking, why September? particularly since the weather has been pretty good here overall. It doesn’t make sense that my depression would be starting to settle in yet.
Seasonal affective disorder specifically may be more a result of the days getting shorter than the overall amount of sunshine. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days begin to get shorter at the end of June – summer solstice; the longest day of the year. This year on June 21st in Vancouver we had 16.15 hours of daylight (5:06 am – 9:21 pm) while on September 1st we had 13.24 hours of daylight (6:29 am – 7:53 pm). This is nearly a 3-hour difference. By the end of September, we are already down to 11.4 hours of daylight (a 4.75-hour difference from June) and the shortest day being approximately 8 hours of daylight (December 21st).
Yes, it is technically a bigger leap from now to December in terms of total hours of daylight but that does not take the sunrise time into effect. In the summer sunrise is before or around 6 am, in September sunrise is between 6:30 and 7:00 am, while in December sunrise isn’t until closer to 8 am. This greatly impacts how much of that sunlight you are actually experiencing. And in September a sunset between the hours 7:00 and 8:00 pm absolutely begins to impact the number of hours you’re able to enjoy after work.
But there may be more to it than simply daylight. Although this in itself is evidence enough for me to feel better about my experience.
Back to school is a factor, potentially even if you’re not still in school. If you are in school the added workload and stress and simply the change can make this time of year more challenging. But for those of us who aren’t in school Septemeber still symbolizes a time of change and many of us feel a sudden and profound shift as we enter this new month. We see and hear all the back to school ads, people start to talk about fall, and it already feels like the end of summer even though it doesn’t technically end until the end of September.
What Can We Do About it?
If you’re September or fall blues are a result of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) here are some tips. But know that it’s okay if your productivity drops as a result of these symptoms. It’s okay if all you managed to do today was get out of bed and feed yourself. Life is hard, especially this year, and you deserve to give yourself gentleness. Also remember that you are valuable and worthy of love regardless of how productive you are.
Tips for managing SAD:
- Routine. Maintain a regular routine that allows for structure in your day. It’s easier to follow through with activities like exercise when they’re scheduled in.
- Try to maintain a regular sleep schedule. Also, try to rise early enough that you can catch some of those beautiful sun rays during the day.
- Expose yourself to natural light shortly upon waking (even if its cloudy). Natural light helps to signal that it’s the beginning of the day and has many other healing benefits. If you can, go for a short walk outside or sit on a patio or in a green space you can also reap the benefits of nature and possibly exercise.
- Take care of your body. That not only includes regular sleep but also eating regularly and healthy as awell as exercise.
- Consider using a UV SAD lamp. These types of lamps mimic sunshine and using them for thirty minutes in the morning can significantly impact a person’s symptoms of SAD.
- Consider Vitamin D supplements. Vitamin D is something we normally get from the sun and as the weather turns grey and the days get shorter many of us are in need of Vitman D.
- Remember this too shall pass. For many of us, this is something that happens every year. So, even though it’s challenging, you know you will get through this. Your body will adjust and you will get back into using the skills that you’ve developed over the years.
Also, remember that if your symptoms are severe enough that they are preventing you from being able to get out of bed or impacting your ability to perform every day activities for a long period of time you may want to speak to your doctor or a mental health professional.
What Works For Me
I do try to do all of the things listed above but it isn’t always easy. Lately, my morning routine has consisted of what I call coffee walks. I literally take my coffee and walk around my neighbourhood for a few minutes. When I return home I try to eat (food in the morning is my biggest struggle) then since I work from home I try to do one activity that is good for my body (read exercise) often it is simply a set of push-ups or pull-ups but lately, it has been yoga.
The next thing is to get into work mode (I work from home as a freelance content creator). Since my work is contract work there is no set structure to my day and I often have many projects on the go it’s easy to find my list of tasks overwhelming and not know where to start. So, I find that breaking my tasks down into days can help. On particularly bad days I break my days down even further.
During my workdays, I also try to take regular breaks that are healthy for me. It’s super tempting to spend my breaks on social media (which I am absolutely guilty of doing some days) but the better thing to do is have a healthy meal, go for a short walk, stretch, or do something else for my body (I like push-ups).
It’s also important to remember to be gentle with yourself. If you’re having a particularly challenging day its okay to give up on the task you’re trying to complete and try again tomorrow. It’s okay if all you did today was survive.
I have experienced September SAD for about fifty years now, It started at about age 16 and I still remember the first experience, sweet melancholy like the smell of autumn leaves. That is the nice side of it. You are the first other person I ever heard say they felt SAD in September as opposed to December to February. It hit me today (September 14th) in Alberta, but same thing occurred when living in Newfoundland or Ontario.
The mood shifts with the leaves, and the alarm that tells the chlorophyll to sleep alerts my body as well. It has helped me to understand the spousal hormonal shifts that follow the moon, even though mine follows the sun. It took me a while to understand it, as I never heard of Seasonal Affect until the 1990s, but I learned to embrace the shift from energetic athleticism to cerebral sensitivity as the yin and yang of my years.
I have been lucky. I have had the capacity to see the depression objectively as a function of my body and brain and not allow it to define me in negative terms. Mostly, at any rate. I won't deny there have been terrible times, especially in my earlier years. I have had a couple of very helpful therapists who helped me to get outside the depression and regain perspective.
Your advice is excellent! I have been using all of the tips you list above for years, and they work. Now, in retirement, I am blessed with the ability to get outdoors at the sunniest time of the day. The only thing I would add (barring Viruses and border closures) would be to plan hikingundefinedbackpacking vacations in Utah or some other sunny location for Mid to late October. Something to anticipate and a huge dose of sunshine, just when you need it most. I say Utah for the desert sunshine and spectacular scenery in their national parks,
Thank you for sharing your journey! Keep it up. I'm sure it will be a help for many!
This was so informative and relatable. As someone with bipolar disorder who also struggles with SAD, I know what it’s like to have that aha moment where you finally recognize your symptoms of depression (and then feel mad and guilty you didn’t see it coming). Self care is so important and I find a mindful moment amongst a busy day can change my mindset so much.
I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone in this experience. Though at the same time I don't want anyone else to struggle.
Recognizing it can be a huge part of getting through it. Thanks for taking the time to comment I hope you have a good day.